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Language is by far one of the most fascinating things humans have created. We have all these terms meaning different objects, places, feelings, and the list goes on. However, language is also one of the few things that can hurt people, so easily. I've been thinking a lot about my thought closet, all the ill-fitting clothes (words) that fill that space. All the negative thoughts that cloud my mind and drag me backwards, it just isn't great. But there's good news because a "shopping spree" of sorts can fill my thoughts with better, nicer, and positive thoughts. "I refuse lies and replace them with truth." (Me, Myself, & Lies, Rothschild, p 39) This quote just fills me up so much. (This will probably be my mantra for a little while.) But how true is this statement? How can we go about cleaning our thought closet if we don't replace the lies, the negative thoughts, the ill-fitting clothes, with brand new ones that proclaim the truth, that state how amazing we all are, and that fill us with a bright light of love to brighten even the hardest days. Word choice. That's all there is to it. Growing up in my writing, or language arts classes, I remember my teachers explaining how important word choice was in our writing. I don't know how well that stuck, but it's an important reminder when dealing with our own self-talk as well as our writing. How do we communicate? Are we constantly looking for something to go wrong? I know I've had my fair share of pessimistic thoughts recently and it's hard to see the glass half-full when you want it to be half-empty. How does God even fit into all of this? Rothschild writes, in Chapter 4, that the Holy Spirit guides and controls us in our positive soul talk. I feel like the Holy Spirit often gets overlooked in the Holy Trinity. Rothschild states the Holy Spirit has four roles for guiding our soul talk: 1. Counselor 2. Representing Christ 3. Teacher 4. Reminder of the truth. The Holy Spirit is our constant guide in all of life, and it's help during our own mental battles and issues is just as important. Going forward in life and my soul talk I hope to stay honest with myself, to free myself from the lies, and continue to grow as a person toward a better me.
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Now I'll be honest I haven't read as much of "Me, Myself & Lies: what to say when you talk to yourself" by Jennifer Rothschild, but I've had so many experiences these past few weeks (also a lot of traveling), and I got to thinking with everything that's going on in the world: What's with all this HATE? Now this is a very "broad" question. I think about all the hate of humans, the events in Charlottesville, VA and the terrorist attacks in Barcelona this week. Why do we hate each other so much? When did differences divide us so drastically? But then I ask myself why do I hate myself? And granted I don't really hate myself, but in those moments why is that when that crosses my mind, why? As I mentioned before I've been doing some travelling over the last two weeks, and I was lucky enough with my sister to go to Jacksonville, IL and Bureau, IL to see some of my college friends. This was super needed after all the stress I've had this summer, but now that it's over, and no plans are set as of right now, I'm so sad. I feel alone again. However, seeing my friends was a great experience. I'm so lucky to have some amazing people who will constantly lift me up and drink wine with. Now I have one friend in particular who I'd like to talk about. She is probably out of all my friends the one I'm the least closest to, but that doesn't mean I don't worry and care about her less. She's been feeling really defeated, and I understand. When you're in your twenties and have never had a relationship and feel like your time is ending it's scary. But what is really hard for me is her self-image. I know I have spent/will spend years erasing the negative thoughts I have towards my body, and so many of my friends will face that too, but this one was different. My two friends were trying on clothes, from my sister tiny and me not so tiny, and every time they recognized something as Angela's (my sister) they would pass it along because it wouldn't fit. Granted some of these things really wouldn't fit, but some of them did. My one friend who I mentioned earlier refused to try anything on, but when you have friends chanting "Try It On!" you eventually break, she was not happy though. She did try on some of my sister's clothes, and in all honesty she looked amazing in it, but every time she came out something was either too flashy, or too tight, or you could see her fat rolls. I tried so hard to tell her that she looked good in these clothes, but she just didn't believe us, and ended up with nothing. Now why do we hate the way we look so much? Why do companies make millions of dollars telling beautiful girls/women that they should and shouldn't look like? And why do we keep listening? Hate is a powerful word, and a strong tool for achieving so much in the world today. We fear what we don't know, and we hate the change that could happen. I don't like change either, but when we come about it in love it's not that scary. Love is stronger. If we continue to work on loving ourselves, we can spread the love around and around. My challenge for this week is to not only face hate with love, but to place self love first. Love yourself. Find that thing you do that you love. Write it down. Put it in your wallet. Read it when you feel like you can't love. And push forward and continue to love. So I'm really behind schedule with writing and getting this post done, but I also know I need to do this. Not for you who may read this, but for me so I can let go the thoughts that cloud my mind, and my thought closet. If you don't understand what I'm talking about I'll refer you to my July Update. Alright, who has read this book, "Me, Myself, & Lies" by Jennifer Rothschild? I'll be reflecting on the first two chapter this time, but more will come soon. (Note: I might not finish reflecting on this book this month, but I will finish eventually!)
We start out with the first part focusing on "Soul Talk" and cleaning our thought closets. I won't go into too much detail on what Rothschild recommends for cleaning your thought closet (because ya'll should read it for yourself in the book), but all those negative thoughts you have in your head really hurt your soul. I've been trying real hard recently to mend my soul, and work on enriching my soul. I'm even working with my sister on ways to teach the Junior High kids at church soul enriching activities to take on even if they decide that being in our particular denomination or even a Christian at all is right for them. A good soul is important an filling your thoughts with these negative attitudes like "You're fat" or "You'll never be good enough to accomplish anything" or even "No one will ever be proud of you" (all things I've thought about myself before), you're hurting your soul. Now Rothschild mention a song which I hold dear to my heart as well "It Is Well With My Soul". And I have to take a second and really think, "Is it well with my soul?" The answer is probably not. I know that my personal soundtrack is a condemning one, where I constantly belittle myself, instead of being encouraging and pushing myself forward. I know that I can look to the Bible and even my friends for soul strengthening. Thinking about how I've condemned myself remind me of a quote from "The Mindy Project". To set the scene Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) has been down and not happy with the way her body looks due to her pregnancy. Her co-worker, Tamra (Xosha Kai Roquemore) brings in her cousin Sheena (Laverne Cox), a personal stylist, over and she gives Mindy a makeover and pep talk saying: "Now if the person in the mirror was your best friend would you be as mean to her as you're being to yourself?" Now this is a huge point that anyone can take away. Think of all the thing you've said to yourself when you look in a mirror or after you do something and feel like you failed. How would your best friend talk to you in those moments? I know my friends and I highly doubt that if they looked at an outfit I was wearing and they knew it didn't fit right because of my curves they would never call me fat. (And if they would the door is open for them.) Now maybe they would say something like "Oh, I think that is a little too tight, can you still breathe?" or "Show off those curves girl!" All very positive statements to a very difficult task. Why else do people go shopping with friends? When I see a killer dress and my bestie tells me I look fierce in it I believe her, but when I do the same I don't believe myself... A Soul-Talk question Rothschild asks at the end of Chapter 2 is, "What are the top five thoughts you have about yourself? How do they influence your behavior and feelings?" Well, when I first read this question the only thoughts to cross my mind were negative, and that made me really sad! Rothschild explains in this chapter a story where she had originally called herself "idiot", but has now decided to call herself "the workmanship of God". So I've been thinking about ways I can turn the script around. I've constantly called myself a failure. It got worse following my graduation from college when I moved back in with my parents and had a jobless life. It SUCKS having to go to church and the only question anyone asks you for a whole year is "Do you have a job yet?" (this sucks for several reasons, but not the point). I felt like I wasted so much time and money and now with my student loans to pay off, I'm drowning in self-doubt. However, I'm an amazing human being. Through college I made the coolest friends in the world. But I also grew as a leader. Remember how I mentioned taking care of the Junior High kids, I honestly doubt I would have done that had I not grown as an individual in college. Now where I saw failure I can see "work in progress", because I'm not finished yet. My story isn't done. I'm still going to make mistakes and negative thoughts will always creep into my head, hopefully a bit less, but I have so much room for improvement. I know that what I tell myself is not what I'd like my best friend to hear, and I hope that I continue to clear out the terrible thoughts hanging in my thought closet that I can fill it with some new fresh thoughts. If you have any ideas or thoughts on how to help my thought closet or how you've worked on your thought closet let me know in the comments below! |
AuthorHello! I'm Tamara, but my friends call me Tammy. I love crafting and making people smile. Follow all the exciting adventures and stories I have. Archives
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